consumering at target

As we approached the Easter candy section, she spied some green bunny Peeps that I'd previously described to her as disgusting.

"Oh Mama, can I please have some of those grody green bunnies?"

I said no.

"Come on Mom. [pleading hand motion here] They're really really gross! Can I have just one grody green bunny with sugar on it?"

as a matter of fact...

This is long. I apologize, but it's a harried and complex back-story that is necessary.

We had a pretty crazy weekend with a 4.5 hour drive each way to visit family for less than 24 hours of actual visit time -- Great Grandma only turns 91 once, so it was worth it. We got back, underslept and overtired, just in time for Chuck to make his hockey game and for me to finish some work that needed to be done by end of day.

We walked in the house, and the dog uncharacteristically bolted up the stairs. Caroline followed.

"Caroline, what's Reuben doing up there?"

"Oh he's just chasin' the bird."

The bird? What bird?!

We have a very old house, so we usually get one annual visit from a bird and one annual visit from a chipmunk. No idea how either gets in, but it happens.

After the bird had been isolated in one room and escorted out the window courtesy of a broom, we got to work cleaning up the droppings and blood spatter (from repeatedly flying into every window in our house, apparently -- no idea how long it had been in the house with only the cats, though thankfully not long enough to become lunch for them and feathery remnants for us to clean up).

So, we were frazzled after this. Chuck left for hockey while I scrambled to finish up what I needed to do on my laptop. I was wrangling with stupid code for a while when Caroline began repeatedly asking for her toy cats' glasses (which I'd just put away to avoid losing them). Repeatedly.

I did a good job of remaining calm while explaining that I needed to finish my work, and reassured her that I would help her in a few minutes. I really did do a good job of this... the first 34 times she asked. Finally I said, "Caroline! Didn't I just tell you I would help you in a few minutes?"

She shook her head and said very earnestly, "Mama, you need to use your soft voice."

She is 100% serious when she does this, and it's not sassy at all, so it made me laugh. So I used my soft voice to remind her that I would help her in a while. She said "Okay!" and played alone for a bit.

3 minutes later, she made the same request for the cats' glasses.

I groaned and said "I am really needing to finish this! The more you ask me, the longer it will take! So just hold on a few minutes and then this crazy time will be over and I can help you!" Lots of !!!! all around.

She looked at me and asked, "Is that what 'nerbous breakdown' means?"

more accurate than dr. fox

We were playing with her doctor bag. She checked my reflexes, heartbeat, temperature, ears and eyes. She said, "I think I see a problem, Mama."

I gasped in horror, and she comforted me by saying, "Let's check your blood pressure first."

She pumped the cuff. "Hmm," she said. "I'm sorry but there is a problem."

I asked what was wrong.

"You see this number?" she asked as she pointed to the sphygmomanometer*.

Yes, but what is wrong?

"It means you need a snack. It's kind of serious."

*I looked that up.

overexposure

We've all been battling a series of sinus infections and colds around here.

I picked up a tissue.

Caroline asked if I had to blow my nose. I said that indeed I did, and then completed the act.

"Can I see the mucus, Mama?"

Excuse me?

"Can I look at the tissue?"

poop humor #12094

Chuck's mother is visiting for a week, and she was sparing my gag reflex when she offered to change Caroline's stinktastic diaper.

Nana: Whoa! That's a big one! Good job!

Caroline: It was my pleasure, Nana.

abc cake is better than no cake

Caroline shares my obsession with cake. Tonight she and I made a pound cake of sorts, and she was enjoying her small slice after waiting over an hour for it to cook, and then even longer to cool. She showed great patience.

She was very happily eating it, when her father bent over and took a little bit and said "Can I have a taste?" as he popped it in his mouth.

She was shocked. Then irate.

As he chewed and "mmm!"ed, she barked, " YOU SPIT THAT ON MY PLATE RIGHT NOW!"

stalker in training

When we were in the waiting room at the doctors' on Tuesday, an older girl of about 8 or 9 years walked in and sat down with her younger sister. Caroline made a beeline for the older girl and sat so close to her that the girl made a "what is wrong with you??" face.

I smiled at the girl and explained that Caroline really likes older kids and thinks they're very cool.

She still looked uncomfortable, so I called Caroline over and said, "You need to give her some space, ok?" She nodded and tried to subtly walk back over.

She sat on the floor, directly in front of the girl. She was about 10 inches away from her. And she looked up in awe at the girl, who was coloring and cutting out pictures in a little craft book (and pretending the little 2 year old gnat did not exist).

I said, "Caroline..."

"What?! I just want to look at her!"

a lesson in parrots

We were sitting in the waiting room of the doctors' office today, and she began talking to anyone who would listen.

"Dr. Smith is going to make me feel better. We are NOT going to see Dr. Fox. My mom isn't a fan. Any of the other doctors here is ok, but not Dr. Fox."

on the mend

She was laying on the floor when she had a little coughing spell. Then she sighed.

"I give up."

"What do you mean, 'you give up'? What do you give up?"

"I just give up, Mom."

small girl with a man cold

Caroline has her first low grade fever and a bit of a cough.

She was a little congested and had a coughing spell, so I figured I'd give her a spoonful of honey. I told her, "This will help your cough and taste sweet, lucky!" She took it gladly. 2 minutes later, she coughed again. Then she got mad. "HONEY DOESN'T WORK!!!!"

Later, she was laying on the cough saying how warm she was, then she coughed a little more. In a hoarse voice, she desperately exclaimed, "Mama, I have no words! I have no words!!" When I pointed out that she was indeed able to speak, she said, "Oh. Well. Can I just have a drink? I don't need questions."

but what about me?

Mama: Caroline, did you know that today is Mama and Daddy's anniversary?

Caroline: Anna-verserry!! I love that day!

M: Do you know what an anniversary is?

C: No, what's an anna-versry?

M: It's kinda like a birthday. It is the day we got married, and we remember it once a year.

C: That's great!!

M: Aw, thank you.

C: Did you get me a present??

novice compliment giver

"Hey Mom. I really like your black shirt. And your comfy pants. Those are really cute on you. And your booty."

fun with friends

I heard her talking to one of her stuffed animals in the other room.

"Sometimes I will play with my friend. His name is Jimi. Jimi Hendrix. And then our other friend Slash comes and we play together. We all play guitars, but sometimes we play hopscotch too. It makes me really happy. "

the little feminist

She wandered upstairs and found her dad taking a nap on the couch in the den. Apparently, she curled up with him and was enjoying the quiet time. He's been working some long hours lately, so it's not surprising that she was enjoying being around her dad.

I left the living room to go up and report something to him, and I was greeted with great toddler hostility.

"Moooo-oooom! Can you please go out? I want to take a nap with my dad! Can you please leave?"

She was visibly irritated. So I tried to bother her even more because I am less mature than she is. "I have to tell Daddy something." And I pulled at the chair as if I was going to sit down and join them.

She whined "SPACE. Sppppaaaaaaaaace! We need space!"

I was enjoying this way too much and said "Uh no, I am here for a reason."

This was met with more frowns. And the kicker. "Can you just go back to your kitchen or something?"

the rooster speaks

When she woke up at 5am, her father went in and talked to her and convinced her to try to go back to sleep. She agreed and was very quiet for about 20 or 30 minutes.

When she finally broke her silence, we heard a very loud and oh so subtle stretch groan and, "YEP! IT'S STILL MORNING!"

to the rescue

At the playground today, 2 older boys were playing with a dad. The dad was pretending to be a monster, it seems; and the boys ran near Caroline and Chuck, screaming about the monster that was after them.

Caroline turned to Chuck and very seriously said, "C'mon Dad. Someone needs our help! Let's go!" Then she threw her arm in the air and ran to defend these boys from the dreaded creature.

finding her own limits

Her stuffed animals are all baby birds, apparently. She makes many chirping sounds for them.

"My babies! They are so hungry! They need a snack!"

I mention there is a bowl of raisins on the coffee table.

"Oh good, my babies are hungry, but they can eat a snack. Of raisins? Do birds eat raisins?"

I tell her I bet that they do, but she seems unconvinced.

"Maybe they are... feet. My babies can eat feet. Well -- wait a minute -- no. No. I'm sorry Mom. That was too silly of me."

a dramatic morning

I should have suspected that this morning would be full of productions. After all, I was rudely awakened by a 2 year old grabbing my shirt and desperately pleading, "My Backyardigans are hurt! I need my doctor kit! Now! MAMA! It's a eeeeeemergency!"

It hasn't really slowed down since then. It's 9:30am. We've had puppet shows; she's spent 20 minutes as a cat who finally, miraculously [thankfully] turned back into a girl; we have sought out "intruders"; and even my hand has been a Mama Hand to her two Baby Hands, who needed comforting because the Daddy Hand went to work and they wanted him home.

So it should be no real surprise that in the 30 seconds of real Caroline time this morning, the only brief window when she wasn't acting or directing in a drama, her doll stroller got stuck on a corner of a rug and she fell to the floor and cried out, "Why is everything impossible?!"

morning gift

We were drawing Os and circles this morning when I caught a whiff. "Did you poop, Caroline?"

"Yes. I did. Lucky for you!"

transposing the lesson

She's been a relatively easy toddler. Never had a tantrum (really). But she's started the approaching-3-whines lately. So I am constantly saying "Whining doesn't help anything. Let's talk about it instead."

This afternoon, she woke up from her nap in a painfully foul mood. At one point she crawled under the coffee table and just made sounds like a dying hyena.

I asked, "Is there some sort of problem?"

"No. I don't waaaaant a problem," she whined.

I said, "So let's talk about it. What's bugging you?"

"Mama, talking doesn't help anything. I'm going to whine instead."