new toys

We are in Indiana for a remote pre-birthday party. Caroline got some new toys. She seems to like them.

"That is so cute, I can barely stand it!

trippin'

She was in the next room, and her toys were talking to her. I eavesdropped and listened to a series of surveys. One example question she asked each toy, "What is your favorite kind of trip?"

Caroline: What is your favorite kind of trip, Scootaloo?
Caroline as Scootaloo: My favorite trip is a Dog Adventure!
Caroline: OOOOOH! That's really a great one.

Caroline: What is your favorite kind of trip, Tasha?
Caroline as Tasha: My favorite trip is a shopping adventure. Like at Target where we got Dash and didn't buy a vacuum cleaner.
Caroline: Oh, I love that kind of adventure trip, too, Tasha!

Caroline: What is your favorite kind of trip, Austin?
Caroline as Austin: My favorite trip is... Let me think. Well, Caroline, it must be true that my favorite trip is a hot dog adventure.
Caroline: I'm not a fan of hot dogs, Austin. But that trip sure sounds tasty and great for you!

Also asked of each of her friends, "How many cookies can you eat?" and "Do you like to wear socks in the house?"

descriptions

While walking around the house "hmming" and looking for her pony:

"Mama, have you seen my pony Dash? It's a toy pony, not a real one. It kind of fits in your hand. And it has a mane and tail like ponies do. It's an animal, a pony. And it's shaped sort of like a pony..."

2 minutes later, growing more frustrated:

"It's not really shaped like a bird. She doesn't have a beak or feathers..."

5 minutes later, giving up:

"And this pony must be a magician that is shaped like a pony because she totally disappeared. And it is kind of awesome that she is a magician that is a pony."

pictures as words

A self-portrait at 2.975 years old:

I am pink and happy.


A koala bear:

It has lots of hair, but Daddy doesn't have lots of hair.


A piece of toast:

This is just toast. There is no cinnamon on it. And it's not a rock.

trickery

Caroline is obsessed with Mr. Clean Magic Erasers. Something about their shape and texture just begs to be touched. She calls them "sponges" or "dangerous sponges," and I have to remind her frequently that they are not ok to play with.

She carried a box downstairs a few moments ago.

Caroline: Hey, I found these dangerous sponges. Can I have one?

Mama: No, you know they are dangerous. They have chemicals.

C: Chemicals are sharp and dangerous. But I really want to play with one.

M: Something like that. Right here on the box, it says "Keep out of reach of children!" That means you cannot touch them.

C: But I'm not a children, so I can have a sponge.

M: I think you're a child.

C: Nope, I'm a grown up.

M: Oh you are? Do you drive a car?

C: [sighs, hangs head] No.

M: I didn't think so. And you don't have a job, either.

C: YES! I do have a job!

M: Oh really? What job is that?

C: I pick out sponges. Especially ones in that blue box.

a grab bag of random quotes

Since I have been a bit slackerly the last few days, I will just post an assortment of kazooisms that I have been witness to recently.

Regarding dropping one of her toys down the stairs:
"Wow. That is so, so.... sososo... totally... awesomely bad!"

Regarding a door that repeatedly blew open and made her "far too chilly":
"DOOR! Stop opening! Why are you such a sneaky door?! Maybe if you weren't so sneaky, you could have more door friends."

Regarding her inner Alice:
"I understand that I can't shrink, but sometimes I wish I was small enough for my dollhouse anyway."

Regarding aging:
"I eat two letter cookies now because I am two. When I am three in a few weeks, I will eat three cookies. Being three will be nice and fun."

Regarding duh:
"Mom! [gasp] Our heads can rotate on our necks."

Regarding double duh:
"I really like to talk to myself."

morning routine

One side of the dialogue heard while enduring the terribleness that is known as getting dressed:

"No."
"No, I really don't want that."
"Alright, this dress, but no sweater."
"No sweater!!"
"I'll wear a sweater tomorrow!"
"Wow, I look like an imaginary princess!!!"
"Catch me, Mama! I'm a princesssssss!"
"Get the hair off my band-aid, please! Help! Princesses don't like hair on their band-aids!"
"No, no clippie."
"I don't want to pick a clippie."
"Just cut my hair off instead."
"Ok, but two clippies."
"I threw the clippies down the stairs because I was a little grumpy."
"I don't want to brush my teeth."
"I don't want to stop brushing my teeth."
"Yes, I look nice, but I'm NOT showing Daddy."
"I am going to cover my clippie with my hand because I don't want it and don't like it."
"Hold on, I have to spin in the mirror."
"Guys, I need the mirror in privacy. Spinning is private."
"I am GLORIOUS!"

time out for mom

It was a very repetitive morning. She repeatedly kept fiddling with something, and that resulted in repeatedly coming to me and asking for my help in fixing it. Repeatedly. And did I mention that this was repeatedly? It was. And the caffeine hadn't even kicked in yet.

So on the 47th "Can you fix this..." I calmly told her, "Ok, I will help you with this once more. But since you keeping coming to me with the same problem over and over, next time, I can't help you. You'll have to try to figure it out on your own first."

She walked close to me and looked me in the eye. "Are you grumpy today? It's very important to be nice, Mama. Maybe you need to think about that for a little bit. I'll be over here. Let me know if you feel nice again."

her deepest, darkest confession

We were on our way to Target, and Caroline shared a secret with me.

Caroline: Could we maybe look at the Ponies at Target?

Mama: I think we could check 'em out.

C: The ones with sparkles are pretty cheesy.

M: They are a lot cheesy, I think.

C: I think I have to tell you.

M: Tell me what?

C: I think I really do like cheesy things, Mama.

M: I thought you might.

C: I just really love sparkles. I didn't mean to, but I do.

spoken word

Quoted to me ("this is like a song but not with music"):

bubbles are great
many bubbles I blowed
and popped
so great
except some that got away

ENTs have seen nothing

"Mom. Mom. Mom. My nose feels kind of weird. It's not a boogie. It's slow and moving like an old man. I think there's a little turtle in there."

spot the difference

I came down the stairs dressed in something other than yoga pants or pajamas (which is rare) and ready for a class I had to attend. My 2 year old greeted me with, "Well look at you, all fancy in your fancy skirt!"

conditional sense of justice

Caroline: That's bird poop on the car window.

Mama: It is. They are good at bombing cars.

C: It's very naughty to poop on a car!

M: Yes, I agree.

C: That is really, really a bad choice and naughty to poop on a car!

M: Yeah, especially if it's just been washed.

[pause of a moment or two]

C: Do birds poop on spiders?

M: Hm, I suppose it has happened, but it's probably unusual.

C: It wouldn't be naughty for a bird to poop on a spider since I don't like them one bit.

a proper introduction

In line at the garden center with her father, who was making a large purchase of compost for a big Mother's Day yardwork extravaganza, she turned to the person behind her and said, "This is my dad. He has a LOT of work to do today!"

breaking news

"Cats don't use escalators. They like the exercise."

get used to it

I had a long doctor appointment today, so Chuck worked from home. The novelty of having all of us in the same place in the middle of the day was not lost on Caroline. We all sat on our bed, including the dog and the cats, and she giggled.

"We're all here." Then, "And we're all weird."

9v donut power

Caroline: I would like a leeeeeeeettle tiny donut.

Mama: It's almost dinner time, so you'll have to wait until after you eat healthy foods.

C: But I really want a tiiiiny donut now.

M: Yeah, I know, but donuts are like candy. They are treats. You need to eat good food first.

[Caroline gives a skeptical look.]

M: You know, you need to eat fruits and vegetables and good stuff like that to get vitamins, minerals and protein.

C: Vitamins and proteins and minerals taste terrible! I don't like those!

M: How else will you get energy to play?

C: I know. I will eat a donut and use a battery for energies.

sugar heals

Explaining to her Marmy (grandma):

"I am not feeling very well. I have a little blister on my foot. But a donut would make it feel better..."

dual identity

My child, who sometimes looks at me like I am the stupidest creature to share her oxygen, introduced me to one of her classmates like this:

"This is my mom. She knows all about anything ever in the whole world. Really. ANYTHING! Just ask her!"