what's in a name?

Caroline is obsessed with names. According to an informal survey of her peers, this seems normal enough. I hope. She also is obsessed with changing her own name.

This week she has called herself (and demanded to be called):

Kiki*
Dash, Climber of Trees (not just Dash)
Daphanie (Daphne/Stephanie hybrid)
Allie
Brown Bird
Sweetie
Sweetie Brown Bird
Danny Phantom*
Annie Phantom

*Guess who's been watching too much TV while on the 2 week break from school?

ponder this

"Hey Mom, do mosquitoes have jobs?"

a spoonful of sugar...

We had Caroline's 3 year well child visit at the pediatrician's office today. She is a healthy girl, though we found out that she is anemic. The doctor ordered a chewable vitamin with iron and a follow-up in 6 weeks to see if we need something stronger.

On the way home, we acquired said chewable vitamins with iron. I gave her one after explaining that it's important to eat it all so she gets enough iron. Because it was pink and featured a certain belligerent cartoon character, she was very excited to eat it. But as she started to chew it, she gagged. Then she stomped her feet and spit it out. I was a little startled since she is not dramatic about food or bad flavors at all.

"Mama. I'm sorry. I can't do it."

I suggested that maybe I should find a better brand, or maybe some drops we could add to a smoothie every day.

"Well, Mama. I have an idea. I think that lollipops have lots of iron in them."

cold, brutal honesty

Chuck is 43 years old. A spry, balding 43 years old.

This morning as Caroline was playing with him, she blurted out, "Daddy, you have hair like a grandpa."

not at the moment

Caroline was hanging out with me while I changed the baby's diaper. She wandered off. I assumed she went to her room. I thought I heard water running, so I put baby sister in the crib, turned on the mobile and went to investigate.

I found dear child pumping hand soap into my beautiful, beloved jasmine topiary. I think my brain melted on the spot. Words failed me. I just grabbed it from her.

"I was just washing it, Mom!"

I ran with it down the stairs to try to use the sink faucet to remove as much soap as possible and told her very sternly (unusual for me), "You are in trouble. Go sit down and wait for me to come talk to you."

She called down from the steps behind me, "What, no love?!"

dinner theater

I was preparing burritos for dinner.

I heard "OoooooOOOOOooooo..."

And I turned and saw this:



"Look, I'm a taco ghost!"

I acted scared.

"Don't be afraid, Mom. I'm just pretending. See, it's a tortilla."

it'll be like this when she's 15, right?

The night before last, we were all having a rough one. Sylvie was doing her newborn thing. Caroline would not stay in bed, no matter what we tried. We'd had a looooong, sweaty power outage the night before so her routine got all messed up, and we were paying for it dearly. At 11:30pm, she was in our room and was playing at my feet. I ordered her back into her room. We escorted her, and I put a pressure gate on her doorway as her father lectured her.

Then she poked the bear. She asked her sleep-deprived father in her favorite manipulative way (she doesn't get sad or weepy when in trouble, she tries to turn it around on you), "Are you grumpy, Daddy?"

And so Grumpy Bear Chuck raised his voice to her, which is pretty rare around here. It was not a proud parenting moment for either of us, and we discussed it the next day.

Chuck decided to go talk to her in the morning and apologize for losing his temper but explain that it's important that she stay in bed, go to sleep, listen to your parents, etc. Part of the conversation is as follows:

Chuck: Bug, you know how I was very grumpy with you last night? Well that wasn't very nice of me and I'm really sorry I got so grumpy.

Caroline: Aw, that's alright, Daddy.

He smiled at her. Then she did this cheesy grin, threw her arms up and yelled "FRIENDS!" and gave him a hug.

marketing works

Caroline: Mom! I need my white microphone.

Mama: What microphone?

C: The white one with batteries, you know?

M: No, I don't. We don't have one.

C: [exasperated teenage valley girl voice of doom with hand gestures] Yee-aaah, I know. I need to get one. That's what Target is for.

gold stars for everyone

Caroline: Daddy, did you just come out of the bathroom?
Chuck: I did.
Caroline: Did you go pee-pee in the potty?
Chuck: Why, yes, I did.
Caroline [throwing herself around his leg in a hug]: I am SO proud of you!!!

...

Caroline: Mama, what are you doing?
Me: Well I am making an apple pie. That is the crust over there, see?
Caroline: Oh my goodness, Mama. It's so wonderful.
Me: Thank you!
Caroline: Did you do that all by yourself?!

spit-shined and ready for company

I was getting her ready so that she wasn't too disheveled when some friends stopped by. She who asks 5000 questions per minute was curious as to why I was combing her hair.

I told her, "Because I want you to look nice."

"Yeah, good. I don't want to look like a muggaruffin!"

if the nose don't fit, you must acquit

Some promo for the Nancy Grace show came on the tv this morning.

"Who's that?" Caroline asked me, all suspicious-like.

"Her name is Nancy Grace."

She replied, "Oh, she is not like us."

Thinking "Thank God," I asked her what she meant by that. We don't rudely bark at people or have hairdos so questionable... there are a number of legitimate differences, and I was curious.

"Well, Mom, our nostrils are small."

small treasures, big delights

Caroline was going through a folder full of paperwork from her sister's arrival. She discovered one of those 2 inch-ish paperclips.

"Oh my goodness, Mama! Where did you get this adorable tiny trombone?"

in a van down by the river

My 15 year old nephew Austin (aka Bubba to Caroline) is visiting. His adoring young cousin woke him up bright and early. He realized his jewelry had a kink in its links. Caroline badgered him with a million questions while he worked on it, as she is prone to do. When he explained that he was trying to fix it, she looked at him solemnly and patted him on the back, saying, "Atta boy." Pat pat. "Atta boy."

he asked for it

Chuck has a little routine that he puts on with Caroline. It usually goes like so:

Daddy: Can I ask you a question?
Caroline: Sure.
Daddy: Why are you so cute?!
Caroline: Because I am!

One day he tried to mix it up.

Daddy: Can I ask you a question?
Caroline: Sure.
Daddy: Why am I so cute?!
Caroline: Because you're not!

yet another failed stall tactic

Yesterday at naptime, she was once again trying to stall on the sleep thing. She kept getting out of bed and coming in to talk to me.

Her desperation grew with each attempt to stay free.

Finally she said, "WAIT! Wait. I need to ask you a question."

I asked, "What question?"

She said, "Umm... You're my mom, right?"

tv killed the pacifist star

We were watching some cartoons and the dreaded commercials came on. There was one for some sort of "striker" toy that gets shot at people.

Caroline said, "I think I like that."

I said, "I don't know... it looks sort of violent."

Not missing a beat she retorted, "Yeah, violent and fun."