but i'm the nice one

After declaring me "the nice parent" and watching me high-five myself and in-your-face her father, she apparently had a little guilt. She came up to me about 5 minutes later. She was very serious and steady. "Mom, I have to tell you that I do love you very much, but I also love Daddy very much. I just had to tell you that."

imagine how she'll sound at 74

On her ailments:

"What is going on?! I have a cough and I have a blister. This doesn't even make sense. I'm so annoyed for this. Next thing you know, my knee is going to get paranoid and I'll need hearing aids."

so agreeable

This morning, she was caught filling up her tea set in the bathroom sink. This practice has been banned after she was caught helping her baby sister to "drink tea." Her father told her she was not allowed to play with water. She tried to negotiate. He shot her down. She tried to negotiate more. He shot her down again.

Finally, she gave up with a sigh. "Okay. Alright. Whatever you say. I'll just go with that."

anything is possible, except when it's not

For those who do not know him personally, I will explain that our dog Reuben is a basselope. Actually, he is a basset hound mix (with some shepherd and doberman in there), and his body and demeanor are very stereoptypically basset. He looks a little like a fluffy black lab who is laying down, only he is standing up. In fact, he's the same height sitting as he is standing. He garners attention from passersby who ask, "Where are his legs?" They are there. They are just 4" long.

I explain all this to precede the following Kazooism, which was volunteered out of the blue yesterday morning while getting dressed:

"I think I am going to limbo under Reuben."

can i call you gretel?

As I was flipping pancakes in the dark of the morning:

"You're not going to cook a baby are you?"

Uh, no. Just planning on cooking some pancakes.

"Good. Pans get pretty hot and that would be a totally, totally bad idea."

the urologist says it's unlikely

Caroline has decided that she doesn't like babies. I think little sister being a bit, um, high maintenance due to health issues has left her a little bored and disenchanted. When I explained that I know it's kind of a drag to have a baby sister right now, Sylvie will soon be able to crawl and laugh and play with her, and that one day Sylvie will be as big as Caroline is now and that Caroline will be SIX. And then she will always have someone to play with. All. The. Time. She started getting excited at the prospect of her little sister again.

"So, one day I'll be SIX and Sylvie is bigger, like a toddler, and then we will get another baby!"

Thankfully, she fetched the smelling salts after I fainted at the mere suggestion.

the call

Caroline [from bed]: Daaaaadddyyyy!

Daddy: Yes Bug?

Caroline: [fake cough] I'm still a little sick. I think I need some medicine.

Daddy goes to retrieve a gummi vitamin in hopes that will qualify and get the child to sleep.

Caroline: Oh, thanks. [eats gummi] Now let me check.

Daddy: Check what?

Caroline: The call.

Daddy: What call?

Caroline: The call! [clears throat] Daaaddddd--EEEEEEEEE! Ah yes, much better.

mr. banker, you don't know stress

We dragged our children with us to the bank to complete some paperwork that we both had to sign at the same time. I was afraid that Caroline would be bored and that Sylvie would be screamy. They both did super well. Caroline made friends with the banker, talked about his name, etc.

At one point, he was typing information into his computer and mentioned something about the computer being really difficult.

Caroline leaned towards the desk and politely interrupted him, "Excuse me, Jonathan." He turned towards her and she gave him a pity nod and said in commiseration, "It's really hard to be three."

a murder

Caroline is once again enthralled with the fake crows from the Halloween storage bin. Last year she babied them, wanted to swaddle them, and carried them everywhere. This year, she is making lots of little plays and songs with them.

They are currently lined up on our furniture and she is introducing them to us.

Their names are as follows:
Crow
Crow
Saddy
Crow
Enna
Ritz

then maybe she could have that trust fund

Caroline has a cold. She woke up at 5am with a barky cough and a dramatic wail. I brought her into bed with me, since Chuck was sleeping downstairs with baby sister. I propped her up on pillows and tucked her in, and then I turned on some cartoons (thank you, oh modern marvel that is 24 hour kid channels on cable). Then I went and made her some ginger tea with honey and brought it to her with some toast and a dose of Mucinex Mini-melts and a new box of tissues. She sipped, ate, and took her medicine. I was scratching her back when she turned to me.

"Mama, are you a doctor?"

randomness du jour

Driving home from preschool:

"Hey Mom. Do monkeys like candy corn?"

pee trauma

Today at preschool pickup, teacher Karen pulled me aside and let me know that Caroline had a little accident at school -- the first one she's ever had there. Karen said that while they were changing her into her spare clothes, Caroline said to her, "I'm really very sorry. I'm just falling apart, I guess."

smile makers/santa capers

Little sister (aka Lil Screamy) had to go to the doctor today because her medicine for silent reflux is no longer working. Caroline was quite a trooper about waiting and hanging out there, and the doctor noticed this and offered her one of those ubiquitous SmileMakers stickers.

Of course, it ripped in the car on the way home. Caroline was pretty torked about it. "Ugh, I RIPPED it. I wasn't very careful and now look at it!"

I suggested that she could get a new one next time we were there. "But we won't be there for a long time."

I suggested that we tape it back together. "But it has a little line right there, see? That would look bad."

I suggested that Santa could bring her a new one. "Mom. I think Santa is a little too busy to fix sticker problems."

little sisters are useless

Caroline was feigning being trapped in the arms of our furniture.

"Save me SuperMama. Help me! Help me!"

I tried to pawn her off on someone else.

"No, SuperDaddy can't help me. And Sylvie can't help me with her cradle eyes."

i guess she's hoping for a trust fund

Describing a bad dream she had last night:

"There were lots of animals in costumes. A donkey, and a lamb, and a goose. The donkey was wearing horns. The lamb was in a regular costume. The goose was wearing just the horns. And they came in our house and they chased me. I was really scared. I was so scared of the working people. They were just like they were pretending to be the working people. Scary stuff."

nothing worse than an ill-mannered mane

"Oh Mama. My hair looks so pretty, doesn't it? I love it. It's just so... polite."

center of the universe

Apparently, they talked about planets today at school. We had a little conversation about it in the car on the way home from the grocery store.

Caroline: Mom, I really like the solar system.

Mom: When did you learn about the solar system?

C: Today! We live on Earth.

M: We do. That's right. Did you learn about other planets?

C: Yep, there is one called JUPITER!

M: Yes, there is one called Jupiter.

C: There's even a green one!

M: Oh, cool. Are there more?

C: Yeah, lots more. But those are the only ones that matter.

compliment for one, insult for other

After seeing a photo of a very creepy zombie:

"Hey, that is one really dusty old daddy."

leatherface is also not an option

Caroline goes to a kinda hippie preschool. This is great with me because we are sorta yippies, ourselves, and their hippie principles tend to be very in line with the kind of early childhood experiences we want our children to have.

But this also means we get to giggle a little every now and then.

We got the newsletter via email today, and I enjoyed the paragraph about their guidelines for Halloween costumes for the school parade. The kids are not allowed to wear masks, be superheroes, ninjas, or anything else that would give the opportunity to be a "non-peaceful person."

I explained this to Caroline, and she was concerned. "Uh oh. But I am being a bee. What are we going to do?"

I tried to reassure her by saying, "Oh, dressing up like a bee is fine."

She replied, "Hello! Stingers! Not very peaceful!"

a little sugar for all the spice

Chuck's friend Tom and his girlfriend Amy came over to watch the Lions game (why watch that team, I do not know). Tom is a very nice guy, but as he has no nieces or nephews or any other close experience with children, it's safe to say he's not one of those people who is just really into kids. He likes them and is good with them, but he won't approach them for play or whatever. This, of course, means that Caroline is drawn to him like a cat is drawn to a person with severe allergies. As we all sat watching the Lions lose, Caroline climbed into Tom's lap and looked up at him and professed loudly and confidently, "I love you."

...

We had a little visit at our house with Great Aunt Mary Lou and Great Uncle Tom. They had some gifts for Caroline and Sylvie, and we really hadn't seen them since Syl was born in July. Caroline and I had to leave mid-visit, as she had a doctor appointment. We said our goodbyes, she gave them big hugs and thanked them for the gift.

Hours later, after a semi-traumatic blood test and post-appointment shopping trip, we were in the car when the following conversation took place.

Caroline: Are Aunt Mary Lou and Uncle Tom still at our house?

Mama: No sweetie, they are probably home having dinner by now.

Caroline groaned in frustration.

Mama: What?

Caroline: But I forgot!

Mama: Forgot what?

Caroline: I forgot to tell them I loved them!

double your pleasure

Last night we went to a gathering with family (who happen to be friends). Caroline has about a bajillion cousins, and she loves playing with them all. Cousin Clara, who is a mature 11 year old, arrived in a opalescent aqua wide headband. Caroline's eyes were glued on that headband from the moment Clara walked in the door. Clara took the headband off at one point and put it on the coffee table. Caroline asked Clara if she could "look at it." And she did. It was apparent via her gentle touches that she coveted that beautiful headband. Aunt Anne saw this and offered to help Caroline try it on.

It looked vaguely like the crowning of Miss America.

Anne took Caroline to the bathroom to check herself out in the mirror. When she returned, Anne reported the following exchange.

Anne: Don't you look pretty?

Caroline: I do. I have a clippie in my hair AND this headband.

Anne: And what do you think about that?

Caroline: [voice cracking] I think it's FANTASTIC!

don't tell the CIA

Caroline tiptoed into the room, whispering, "I have a secret."

I asked, "Oh, is it a good one?"

She replied, "Yes, it's really good. Do you want to hear it?"

"Of course!"

She tiptoed over, grinning. She motioned for me to lean down. She cupped her hands to my ear and whispered, "Are you ready?"

I nodded.

Then she squealed "Pupppieeees!"