HRH the soul mate

Caroline saw me reading news online this morning, and caught a glimpse of a pretty lady in a fancy white dress and wanted to know who she was. After I explained all about The Wedding, she wanted to see more photos. So we went to BBC's website, scrolled through the pics, and she was mesmerized.

"So that's the queen? She looks pretty and charming. If I saw her in Target, I would say, 'Hello, your majesty.'"

...

When I told her that the queen had a bunch of dogs, she said, "I knew we'd be friends."

...

Later in the morning, she asked me, "Do you have Queen Elizabeth's number? I need to talk to her about something."

the real land of opportunity

Caroline: Mom, I'm embarrassed to ask you this, but...

Mama: Yes?

Caroline: Is the beloved gruffalo a real animal?

Mama: Gruffalo??

Caroline: It's kind of like a buffalo that walks on two legs.

Mama: I'm guessing that's imaginary.

Caroline: Well, you'll have to google it. They live in England. Anything is possible there.

relationship status

We were grocery shopping at Trader Joe's, and their very friendly employee decided to have some fun with Caroline.

Man: Soooo, you have any plans with your boyfriend this weekend?

Caroline: [bewildered look]

Man: Nothin' at all?

Caroline: I don't have a boyfriend!

Man: No?

Caroline: I am FOUR.

Man: Oh, I thought you were, like, a grownup married lady.

Caroline: Are you serious?

Man: No, I'm just teasing.

Caroline: Oh.

Man: So you really don't have a boyfriend?

Caroline: [sigh] Sir, I think that's against the law.

backwards compatibility

Today when I picked Caroline up at school, she was excited to report on the day's events.

"Today. We. WATCHED MOVIES. Buuuuuuut, get this, it was not a DVD or on a computer. I don't even know if you've ever heard of this. It's amazing!"

I waited with bated breath to hear about this fantastic new form of media!

"The movies were played by a special machine..."

I waited with more bated breath!

"The movies were on something called..."

She leaned in close, and her eyes were sparkling like she was about to tell me she cracked the geographic coordinates to Santa's workshop. Then she whisper-yelled it.

"It's called FILM!"

buzzkill

Caroline: Wow, look at those HUGE fluffy clouds!

Mama: Yeah, they are really big and puffy today.

Caroline: They're so cottony and nice.

Mama: Yeah. They look like cotton candy, don't you think?

Caroline: Oh, yeah, I see it. All wispy and soft and fluffy.

Mama: I wonder if they taste like like cotton candy.

Caroline: Mama. They probably taste like dusty water.

all's fair...

Caroline reported at pickup that she had a great morning at preschool. She said she did some school work with her dreamy crush, Nick. I was surprised that he was willing to work with her, as he very much toes the gender separation line. So I asked how that went.

"It was great. I told him that he's, like, totally handsome."

Ergh. I double winced because 1) who wants a boy-crazy 4 year old? and 2) he does not mince words, and I didn't want her crushed.

I asked how he replied to that.

"I don't remember what he said. But I did tell him that it doesn't matter if he's handsome because it's still girls versus boys around here."

kindness with flair

Nana had knee replacement surgery, and Chuck called to check on her. Caroline asked to speak to her. She told her she missed her "really a lot" and explained the stuffed animal catapult she was building. At the end of their conversation, there was a really over-the-top loving farewell. She really really really really really really really really really loves her and hopes she's really really really really really feeling much much much much much much much much better tomorrow. And some more chipper over-the-topness for good measure.

I looked at her as she handed the phone back to Chuck. She smiled at me, shot the finger guns, and said, "Yes. That's how I do it Caroline Style."

the one thing i did not learn at a liberal arts school

"Hey Mom, do you know how to drive a monster truck?"

a particularly spot-on assessment

"Daddy, you're totally awesome. And, really, a little bit exhausting."

spring is here!

Caroline's declaration as she bounded down the stairs this morning:

"Heeeeey, people! Are you ready for this?! It's FLIP FLOP SEASON!"