subtle recommendation

A few weeks ago, I was laying on the couch in a gestational malaise.

Caroline: You don't feel well, Mama?

Mama: No, my stomach is very upset.

C: Because of the baby in your stomach?

M: Yep, the baby makes me kind of sick.

C: Maybe you should get a kitten in your tummy instead.

art crit/self crit

She was painting a portrait of Olivia the pig. She declared that "painting Olivia is not very easy." There was a squiggle over the eye, and I complimented it.

She made a psht sound and said, "It kind of looks like a tuba."

i've loved her more.

Caroline: Ooooh MaMAAAAA. I've got a surrrrpriiiiise for yooou!

Mama: Oh! What is it?!

Caroline: It's..... a...... pooooooop!

i've never loved her more

We saw a commercial for this Dora-gone-tween product, where a magic water wand puts makeup and colored streaks all over the previously toddlerific Dora's head.



I cringed and braced for the worst as I waited for her response.

"Mama, that's kind of cheesy."

5 dolla, no holla

She doesn't like me this morning either. I just overheard her talking to Chuck.

Chuck: Why don't you go downstairs with Mama? I am trying to get ready for work, so I can't help you right now.

Caroline: I don't like Mama.

Chuck: Why don't you like Mama?

Caroline: She's... She's too expensive!

anger orange

She woke up from her nap pretty crabby. She said to me, very matter of factly, "I don't think I like you, Mama."

I told her that this news was disappointing and asked her why she didn't like me (especially interested because I had done nothing to get on her bad side).

"Well. You're wearing an orange shirt."

problem solver

Yesterday, we lost power for 6 hours. She was napping during the first hour, so when she woke up, I told her that we had no electricity.

Caroline: We DO have 'lectricity!
Mama: No, sweet pea, the power went out.
C: Let me take a look.

She didn't believe me. She marched right into our bedroom and tried to turn on the tv. When nothing happened, she gasped and her hands flew to her face as if it was the worst news in the world.

M: Yeah, there is no power. But they are working on fixing it.
C: There is NO POWER?!
M: Nope. No music. No tv. No toast. We will just have to read books or play.
C: I know what to do. I know who can fix it.
M: Who?
C: We should call the GARBAGE MAN!
M: Oh the garbage man, huh?
C: Yeah. He would help us. He's a good man.

the doolittle theme continues

She was kneeling on the ottoman of our dog Reuben's leather club chair, trying to engage him in conversation.

"Ruff ruff. Rrrrrrrufff! Reuben, I am talking to you. Ruff ruffffffff! [pause, waiting for a reply] Hey! I am talking Dog so you can un'nerstand me! RUFFFFFFFFF!"

Reuben is 50% dog, 50% Walter Matthau, so he did his patented grumbly sigh.

"What's-a matter? I mean 'What's-a ruff?' -- did you hurt yourself boy? Are you sad because you hurt yourself? Maybe your foot? Your ruffffff?"

She waited again for a response, and all she got was an awkward moment where a old man dog avoided eye contact and silently wished for peace.

The unthinkable happened. She gave up.

"Well it was good to see you, Reuben. Be careful with that foot."

cat whisperer

"Mama, cats don't talk with real words. They say 'meow' but it sounds like 'mrrrrow' and not 'me-yow'."

I affirmed her point. She continued.

"Sometimes when I talk to the kitties, I use real words and they say 'mrrrow' and I say, 'If you say so, guys!'"

sporty priorities

She was kicking her pink patent leather soccer ball to me, and I was rolling it back.

Mama: Wow, you are a superstar kicker!

Caroline: Yeah!

M: You're a soccer monster!

C: Nooo, I'm not a monster.

M: No? Not even a soccer monster?

C: Well, maybe if the monster is cute...