rodney dangerfield, jr.

Yesterday was Sylvie's 2 year checkup at the doctor, and Caroline had to come with us.

From the moment we walked in the door, Miss Anxiety was stating she wished to stay in the waiting room alone because she did NOT want to see any needles or any shots or any blood. I assured her that when the time for shots came, she could wait outside the room in the hallway. That soothed her for about 2 seconds. Then we'd go through this routine again. "I'll just wait here! Look! There are books to entertain me!"

Sylvie got called back, and Caroline dragged her feet but came along. Anytime anyone entered the room, she'd ask in a panic, "I am not staying for the shots part. Do you have shots?" I remembered why I preferred to bring only the unwilling victim of the exam to the visit.

When the time for one quick shot did come, the doctor was a genius and had Caroline escort her to a lab room to pick out a lollipop for herself and for Sylvie. Master of distraction! Sylvie got her shot, was less freaked about it than Caroline was, and we were on our way out.

We met the doctor and Caroline in the hall, where the doc pulled me aside and laughed, saying that Caroline had just exclaimed to her, "Phew. Thanks, doc. I was gettin' a little paranoid in there."

all the best, mama

Caroline: Mama, I love you.

Mama: Oh, I love you, too.

Caroline: I really, really love you. I want to get your autograph.

Mama: Huh?

Caroline: Your autograph. That's how people know you really like them. You ask them for their autograph because you love them so much.

just wait until adulthood

Caroline walked into Chuck's office and asked to use his computer so she could play on PBS Kids' website.

He told her no, that he was reading the news, and she should go read some of her books or play with her toys.

She sighed and shuffled away, disappointed.

Seconds later, she came back into the room and exclaimed, "But Dad, everything's boring in a little girl's life!"

must be doing something right

Today was Sylvie's second birthday. As I tucked Caroline in to bed on Saturday night, she said, "Mama, can we go shopping tomorrow morning so I can get Sylvie something for her birthday?"

I was a little surprised. And a little suspicious. I told her, "Well, sure. But remember it would be a gift for Sylvie, not something for you."

She looked insulted. "Of course! I know that. I was thinking something little for her. A small toy for a small kid."

luddites of 2006

Caroline asked me if we had one of the games for the iPad when I was a kid.

I informed her that we didn't have iPads when I was a kid. And we didn't even have iPads when she was born.

"Whoa. Are you serious? No iPads?"

Then she paused to try to understand our backwards ways of that era.

"Did you bring me home from the hospital on a horse or somethin'?"

our family in song

Caroline summed up our family in a version of Old MacDonald. Each of us got our own verse.


Old MacDonald had a farm
E-I-E-I-O
And on this farm he had a...

SYLVIE
E-I-E-I-O
With a "wah, whine" here and a "waaah, whiiiine" there
Here a "WAH", there a "WHINE," everwhere a STOMP STOMP

...

MOMMY
E-I-E-I-O
With a "What are you doing in there?!" here and a "sigh" there
Here a "Caroline..." there a "Sylvie...", everywhere a "What are you doing?!"

...

CAROLINE
E-I-E-I-O
With a "chatter, chatter" here and a "talk more" there
Here a "chit", there a "chat," everywhere a "talky talky!"

...

DADDY
E-I-E-I-O
With an "uuuuuh" here and an "ummmmm" there
Here a [shrug], there a "hm!", everywhere an "uuuuhhhh!"

So! Sylvie's an obstinate toddler, Caroline is an incorrigible talker, I'm very suspicious, and Chuck suffers from chronic indecision. And one of our children is being written out of the will.

auto-correct

Chuck's coworker mentioned to him that Caroline had inadvertently sent her an email from his iPhone. Slightly embarrassing that we had no idea this had happened, but not worth much thought. Later, she forwarded him the email, and it was a little surprising.

Subject: Caroline

Arson
ATF robin
Momy
Daddy
Lochy
Me
Silvie
Avry
Prsin
In
My
Famly
My name is Caroline

I thought, Hmmm, I see it says "Mommy, Daddy, Lucci (cat), Me, Sylvie, Every Person In My Family." She's only missing the dog, Reuben. But with "arson" and "ATF robin" at the top, this reads a little like a hit list. Are we on some watch list now?

So I called over Lizzie Borden, Jr., and asked what the first line said.

"Arson. I typed ARDEN and it changed it. It was really frustrating." Arden is her best friend. So phew. We can sleep with both eyes closed tonight.

But wait. Still have the firearms issue.

"ATF robin. I typed 'Arf roobin,' and it changed it, too. That thing is a piece of junk."

future informercial star

Chuck brought home pizza one night last week, and the girls jumped around in excitement as he passed the box to me.

I placed it on the counter and Caroline ran up to observe. When I opened the box, she stepped closer, took a deep breath, fluttered her eyelids, fanned at her face, and sighed, smiling.

"I could float away on this aroma."

next on national geographic

"Mamaaaa!!!! Hurry! There is a bee!"

Since we have severe bee allergies in the family, this is something I react to quickly. I ran to the dining room, and she guided me to the alleged bee.

"Honey, this is a house fly. Why did you think it was a bee?"

"Well, it was buzzing a lot. Bees buzz. I just thought it didn't have stripes because it was a rare, exotic bee."

practice pays off

"Hey Dad, I've been whistling better and better. Like at Marmy's house, I was whistling a couple pounds' worth. I used to only be able to whistle one single pound."