the most benign and unsuccessful agent i've ever met

Caroline walked up to me and shook my hand. "Hi there. Nice to meet you. I'm Anna. I'm in insurance."

"Ooh," I told her. "That's a good job to have."

"Yeah. We've got low rates. Do you need a paycheck or something?" She gestured out the window towards her play house. "I've got some out back in my office."

family means no judging

Caroline and Chuck were looking through photos on flickr. They got to a series of photos from our wedding. Caroline gasped.

Then she said very, very skeptically, "Well, I guess Mama could wear white...."



...


[She has no idea what white symbolizes at weddings. She was just surprised because I own zero pieces of white clothing, and she's never seen me in anything other than my dark wardrobe.]

a clever disguise

Caroline was being a super spy gymnasticker with a headband and sunglasses (often slid down her nose for a subtle knowing wink). A few moments later, her dad called her over with, "Hey super spy, come here!"

She responded with a wave of the hand, "Oh, I'm not a super spy anymore. I am just a mere child."

i think that's a 15 month milestone

We were playing Maltese Catch (wherein a stuffed animal Maltese puppy is tossed back and forth), and she threw it to me. Her unsteady 4 year old aim resulted in baby sister getting socked in the face with the dog.

There was that shocked pause where you wait to hear if a baby is going to freak out... it was interrupted when Caroline cheerfully directed, "You gotta think fast, sista!"

you're welcome, richie cunningham

As she hopped out of the car, "Thank you for the ride home, Ma."

aesthetic scheming

I walked up the stairs to find a bajillion tiny pieces of a bajillion tiny playsets arranged carefully and taking up an entire step.

I called to Caroline, "You need to come clean up your toys or we'll be late to the first day of Artistic Expressions at preschool!"

She groaned but ran over, eager to be on time for much-hyped new session at school; but then she paused and looked at the assemblage of tiny plastic things.

"Well, Mama, I have to tell you. I find this scene very artistic..."

paris, 1970

I was trying to shoo my beloved child from my side, where she was badgering spending quality time with me. I told her, "Go. Fly. Be free! You're a four year old. You should be having fun. Go! Frolic!"

She stepped back and playfully started arguing against my directions. "I want to be with you!" and "I have fun with you!" and "I don't want to go!" preceded the best one.

She danced a bit, then froze, and her shoulders drooped and she put on a pantomime frown.

She deadpanned, "Look. I'm unfrolicking."

little miss kindness

Cousin Erin, 8, came to visit for a long weekend. The girls played together for many hours of each day; and by the end of the visit, they were sort of sick of each other and behaving more like grumpy siblings than adoring cousins.

When it was time to go, Erin asked for a hug.

Caroline told her, "Oh, I already gave you one."

Erin disputed, "No! You did not!"

"Of course I did. It was an imaginary hug."

hallmark will steal this sentiment for a series of cards

We were talking about firemen and firewomen the other day, thanks to the inspiration from the preschool session about community helpers.

I was telling Caroline that we had lots of firemen in our family history. I told her about great-grandpa and how Pappaw was a fireman before he got sick. Then I brought up Uncle Jim, who was a battalion chief before he retired a few years ago.

"Oh! I didn't know that. That's neat to know. "

I nodded.

She continued, "Yeah. I like Uncle Jim. I'm glad he's not dead."

why do you ask?

Caroline arrived downstairs and had reprised her role of Anna the Gymnasticker. This time she had rainbow legwarmers on her arms and legs, and a mesh headband was wrapped around her noggin like a sweatband. Sort of like a pink Rambo.

"I'm here for the most difficult challenge!"

And then she climbed onto the coffee table, put her hands on her hips, and struck a valiant pose. Chest out, face fierce, chin up.

She pointed at the chandelier above her and asked very subtly, "Sooooooo, is that a light or a gymnastic hang-grabber?