Wednesday, December 31, 2008

garden friends

She carried a potted plant to the coffee table and set it down.

C: This is my garden friend. His name is, um... Hooey.
M: Hooey?
C: Yes, Hooey. Can you say hi to him?
M: Hi Hooey.
C: Hooey has soil so he can grow. And he gets very big and he has a stem. He likes to grow. Ask him.
M: Oh, okay. Do you like to sit in the sun and grow, Hooey?
C: Mama, [look of pity aimed at me] he doesn't talk. He's a plant.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

winter blues

She walked up to me and sighed. "I wish I could jump around on a sunny day. Like at a dance party in the back yard."

I hear you, sister.

Monday, December 29, 2008

the student becomes the master

We were having a classic eating war. She wanted a candy cane. She saw them before we could hide them. So I told her she could have one after she finished her sandwich. She tried the usual tricks -- subtly throwing them to the dog, trying to negotiate eating her sandwich AFTER the candy cane, taking one bite and declaring herself finished. Any parent knows this drill. We finally got to the point that she just needed to finish 1 little bite of her sandwich.

She refused.

I picked up the 1" square of cheese and bread and did a high-pitched sandwich voice. "Eat me! I am one tiny bite and once you eat me, you get your candy!"

She stared me down. I put the piece on her plate.

She picked it up. In her own high-pitched sandwich voice. "Don't eat me! It will hurt me!" She put it on the plate and smiled smugly as she motioned for her candy cane.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

good with faces

The Sound of Music came on TV tonight, and Maria appeared in the hills and began singing. Caroline gasped and said, "It's MARY POPPINS!" Now, she's seen about 2 cumulative minutes of Mary Poppins, and she certainly was not a fan enough to place Julie Andrews (or so I thought). I said, "Well, it's the same woman as Mary Poppins, but this movie is called Sound of Music."

"Well who is that girl?"
"Her name is Maria."
"No, she's Mary Poppins. But she has yellow hair. And no umbrella."

I gave up at this point. Mary Poppins in Austria. Done.


[Edited to add a footnote: The nuns were all singing about how to solve a problem like Maria, and Caroline was very concerned that she was not there. "Where is Maria? Why isn't she there?" I said, "Well she's always late." Without skipping a beat, she replied, "Oh, she's always late. Like Daddy."]

Friday, December 26, 2008

say hello to my little friends

Caroline brought over three small nubs of chalk. One blue, one green, one purple. Each was less than an inch long. She opened up her hand and said, "These are my friends. You should say hi." I did say hi. Then she introduced me. "This is Dos. This is Tres. And this is Cuatro." Well, ok. "They really are my friends. Very nice little tiny friends."

I think she's ready for preschool to start up again.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

parrot, perhaps

The dogs were going nuts, wrestling and snarling. I liken the sound to a dying, lovesick walrus. Patty sticks her whole head in Reuben's mouth, they run around like that. There is snarling and a sound we call "mrphing" and flinging of Patty's little scrawny body. And then some more loud dog noise. It is just obnoxious.

Caroline decided she'd had enough of this noise. "YOU GUYS! STOP IT, DOGS!" And she pushed between them. "NO MORE FIGHTING! STOP IT!"

Then I heard her sigh and say quietly, somewhat defeated, "I'm losin' my mind."

Monday, December 22, 2008

method actor

She is still keen on pretending she's a cat. And ever since I busted her for using words in a human way during one of her cat spells, she's been VERY consistent about keeping in feline character.

Yesterday, she was walking around meowing, doing her [weird] thing. It was decided that we should wash her face before we headed out, so Chuck approached her with a wet cloth.

"MEEEOOOW!" in protest. Then "meOW meOW MEOW!" She was careful to not use any words. This went on with some wrestling and more emphatic meows of displeasure before she finally broke and yelled, "NO DADDY! DO NOT WASH MY FACE!" He told her it had to be done and continued wiping her face as she thrashed from side to side.

Pushed to her limit, she reared back, put up her hands like boxing paws... and hissed.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

home sweet home

After 9 hours in a car this weekend and an overnight at Marmy and Pappaw's house, we finally got back home. She walked into the living room, looked at her toys and said, "I am so glad to see my mess."

Friday, December 19, 2008

shadow puppets

I was barely awake this morning, and the only light was coming in from the glare of the snow. It made for perfect shadow puppets. I made a bunny for Caroline. "Can you make it hop?" I obliged. She squealed with delight. "Now eat some grass, bunny!" My shadow bunny ate some grass and hopped about. I showed her how to make her own shadow puppet bunny. So we had two bunnies frolicking about, and she cheered.

Then she suggested, "Ok, enough bunnies. Now let's do shadow vacuum cleaners!!"

Thursday, December 18, 2008


She was dancing her heart out while holding a little toy horse, and she started bumping her head into her father's leg.

"Oops. I'm sorry Daddy. It was an accident. Just an accident. I sure was dancing. It was like... too much sugar."

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

animal planet

She took off all her clothes because she declared herself a cat. And then she proceeded to curl up on the couch and purr (which is more like blowing raspberries, but close enough). She was meowing and pointing at the Christmas tree. "What? Are you pointing at the tree?" Meow. "Yes, it's a pretty tree, huh?" Meeow-meow!

A few minutes passed while she remained curled up on the couch. MeeeeeeeeoooooooooOW! "Yes?" Meow. "Yes, kitty?" She pointed to her toy. "Oh, do you want your toy?" Yes, meow! "Hey, wait a minute!" Giggle, meow! "Cats don't talk! I think you're a Caroline!"

No, I'm a kitty. I'm just a meow-o-line.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


She was alone in the bath when she broke out in loud nonstop evil laughter. Loud and maniacal and neverending. After a couple minutes of this, I asked Chuck to see what she was up to. This is Caroline, so any number of bad ideas could have been at play. He went in and asked her what she was doing. She stopped the evil laughing, paused, and told him very matter-of-factly, "Well, I was laughing."

Monday, December 15, 2008

many hats

Our Christmas cards came with sets of envelopes wrapped in white paper bands. Caroline decided that these bands looked like diner hats. She placed one on my head as I was reading a magazine. "Hello Bakery Mama. Look, you're in a bakery. I'll have one cupcake, please! I'll have one cookie, please!" Then she went and grabbed her guitar and brought it to me, "Would you like to play my guitar like Jimi Hendrix, Bakery Mama?"

Sunday, December 14, 2008

it's hard to babble

She was saying something that we couldn't understand, and that is a rare situation around here. Usually we can figure it out. She kept repeating it. I looked at Chuck, and we both shrugged.

She sighed, walked away with her hands on her hips, and exclaimed in utter frustration, "That's it. I give up. I'm going back to bed."

Saturday, December 13, 2008

in the car

She started shrieking and thrashing around in her car seat. We asked her what was wrong.

"I want to get out of this car seat. I want to be free. I want to fly like a bird and be free."

making rhymes

In the wee hours of the morning, she was making up her own rhymes:

One little monkey went out to play
He went out and bumped his [oh crap face here]... head-ay!
And he wore his bray-ce-lets
For the whole day!
On the computer.


Thursday, December 11, 2008


She screams.

I run in. "What's wrong?"

"Mama, there's a cat hair on the Christmas tree. It scares me."

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

rock n roll singers

Caroline was telling me about people who sing rock n roll. Apparently, when you are a rock n roll singer, "You have to be a pretty guy. A pretty man who has pretty hair. And then you sing rock n roll."

Maybe she's heard about the late 80s?

Monday, December 8, 2008

how you feeling?

She felt a little warm to the touch. I asked her how she was feeling.

"I'm feeling old. Like a dinosaur."

Thursday, December 4, 2008

well, that's new

In the early hours of the morning, Chuck was laying in bed trying to wake up. Caroline crawled into bed and sat next to him.

She pulled up her shirt. "This is my belly."

She pulled up Chuck's shirt. "This is your belly, Daddy."

She leaned in and tapped her belly into his side and shouted "Belly cheers!"

Wednesday, December 3, 2008


She heard a roaring chainsaw as our neighbors' trees were being trimmed.

"Mama, I think that sound is Reuben's tummy."

sandwich order

She walked up to me and made the following request, completely out of the blue:

"Mama, can you make me a Tuna Melt? I'm kind of hungry."

I have never made or consumed a tuna melt in my life, and I have no idea where she heard the term.

Monday, December 1, 2008


In a post-nap grump:

Mama: You're cute.
Caroline: NO.
M: Yes, you are. You are very cute.
C: [stomping foot] NO! THAT'S NOT NICE TO SAY.
M: Yes! It is nice. I am saying you are SUPER CUTE.
C: [arms behind her and bent over in anguish] NO! I! AM! NOT!
M: Cute cute cute cute WAAAAAY cute!
M: Yep, you're cute as a button.
M: You are cute!
C: [grumpy face] You ruined my toonies. [the cartoons she was watching]
M: By being nice??
C: FINE, I'M REALLY CUTE. OK? [pause] I love you.