Friday, October 29, 2010

happy halloween

One of the curses of having an imaginative child is having to fulfill her vision for a costume. Luckily, I am pretty decent at sewing and imagining what she's describing. I had to make sketches and get her approval. She also designed her own makeup (I had to follow her drawings). And, 'lo, Poodlena the Pink Poodle Fairy was born...

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

cucumbers and geritol

Caroline was feeling a bit under the weather yesterday. I told her she'd be missing her ballet class, and that she could make it up later this week or next week. She argued about it, proclaimed herself fit for dancing, etc. I pointed out the bags under her eyes, since they are the obvious sign of her not feeling well.

She ran to the mirror to check out her eye bags and subsequently gasped.

"Wow, I look ELDERLY. You know, like you."

Saturday, October 23, 2010

a little weird kid from jerry maguire moment

While playing with her Legos on the floor, she looked up and asked totally out of the blue, "Did you know that Saturn, Jupiter, Uranus, and Neptune are gas giants?"

Friday, October 22, 2010

you hear me?

Chuck was antagonizing the poor child, and she was growing frustrated. So she marched right up to him, put her hands on her hips and said, "Listen! I am telling you RIGHT NOW that I am IGNORING YOU!"

Thursday, October 21, 2010


To the man who came to winterize our sprinklers today:

"That's my baby sister, Sylvie. She has a very small head, just look at it."

Monday, October 18, 2010


Caroline: I need a snack.

Mama: Hm, that's not how you ask.

Caroline: Get me a snack...

[silent, stern motherly glare here]

Mama: and?

Caroline: 'Get me a snack,' I said lovingly.

i bet he had a troubled childhood

Sylvie was taking a much-needed nap today, and I was trying to keep Caroline quiet to no avail, so I put on Nickelodeon in desperation. Spongebob was on. I severely dislike Spongebob. But I was that desperate for the quiet/nap.

I was lamenting how gross the show is. Some character or another yelled "shut up!" and I just ranted a bit about it.

"That was Mr. Krabs, Mama."

I said it was RUDE.

"Mr. Krabs isn't rude, Mom." She thought a moment. "He's just... a little needy."

Sunday, October 17, 2010

mmmm delicious

"I made a new invention. After I broke up with my fireman job, I became an inventor. My invention is -- are you ready for this? Grilled cheese flavored gum."

Friday, October 15, 2010

as if people didn't wonder enough

Her favorite stuffed companion, a small doberman pup named Nesty, often takes on different roles as she plays.

Today, she brought him downstairs and introduced him with a new name.

"I am Maggie, and this is my dog."

Oh yeah? What's his name?



Hot Couple the cat and Scotch the dog, now appearing in prime time.

Honest, we are not boozers -- she just abbreviated one of Nesty's favorite alter egos, a girl dog named Butterscotch. Or at least I hope that's the case.

halloween is getting to her

Caroline walked downstairs and asked, out of the blue, "Mama, is it true that people turn into skeletons after they're dead?"

I confirmed that it takes a long time, but yes eventually all that is left of any formerly living creature is bones.

"So when you get really, really old and then you die, you turn into a skeleton."

I tried to figure out how to best address this without going into more detail about cremation or embalming, when she interrupted.

"And then you get spooOOOOOOooooOOOoky!"

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

i'm not quite crafty enough to qualify

While we were eating lunch, we had the following exchange.

"Hey Mom, do you know Martha Stewart?"

"Well, I know who she is, yes."

"Are you friends with her? She seems like your kind of lady."

Sunday, October 10, 2010


Upstairs, I was painting Caroline's nails. We looked out the window and saw Uncle Tom (Chuck's friend) approaching the house for his regular football-watching visit. He had no one with him.

Caroline said, "Uncle Tom is here! But Amy isn't with him. He didn't bring any girl."

I told her, "No, she's not with him. Remember that they broke up a while ago?"

Caroline remembered, "Yeah, sometimes grownups do that."

"When you go downstairs, don't bring it up, ok? He might be a little sensitive about it."


Downstairs, the guys watched football. Caroline joined them.

"Hi Uncle Tom, " she greeted.

"Hi Caroline."

"My mama says you don't have a girlfriend anymore."

Friday, October 8, 2010

raising her right

Caroline: Hi. I'm not your daughter. I'm another girl. I'm a girl in a band. It's actually all girls, and we're a cover band. Yeah, it's pretty great.

Mama: Oh yeah? Who do you cover?

Caroline: We only play Bowie.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

gross and horrible is a job well done

We told her she had to pick up her own (huge) mess, an idea she found disgusting.

"You guys have gross minds. I don't think you're harmless, parents."

Monday, October 4, 2010

gold medal dessert

We try to make dance class night a special one-on-one time for Caroline and I. Trying to cement my status as best.mama.ever, I usually get her a tasty treat. Tonight she got a soft serve sundae with banana slices and a cherry on top, her request.

As we carried the sundae away, the cherry began sliding down the peak of vanilla ice cream.

"Aw, look Mom. The cute little cherry is skiing."

Sunday, October 3, 2010


I was brushing her teeth, and she turned and looked out the hall and gasped. Then she said "sthombie" because she had the toothbrush in her mouth.

I took it out and asked, "What?"

"A zombie!" She pointed out the door.

I told her zombies are imaginary and not real.

"Well it's right behind you now, so it's a good thing you believe they're pretend."

Friday, October 1, 2010


Yesterday was her first dentist visit, and it went super well. Zero cavities, and Miss Jane polished her teeth until they gleamed. She told Caroline with a believable gasp, "I just realized. Your teeth look like princess teeth now!"

Caroline enjoyed this news greatly, and this morning she insisted on wearing a fancy dress suitable for a princess. Once I got her all dressed and ready for school, she ran through the hall and said, "This dress! These teeth! Aaaagh, it's just ridiculously fun!"