taskmaster

"Mama, where's my kitty calendar? You know the square one with the cute kittens on the front?"

Why do you need that?

"I have to schedule something. On May 14th, I'm going to lose my first tooth. I need to pencil it in."

letting 'em down easy

Caroline "graduated" from the beginner swim classes to an advanced section. When this happens, the swim school gives you a little card, and you go to the front desk and they schedule you with a different class at the new level. Because she'd done so well with her current instructor, I requested him again. When I told her that she was indeed in the new class level, but she'd still be with John, I thought she'd be happy.

She said, "Oohhhh. Hm."

I asked if there was a reason she wanted to have a different teacher.

"Well, Mom, I think I'm just really interested in meeting new people."

understatement of the year

While I was brushing her hair...

"Mom, I'm kind of dramaful, don't you think?"

"Yes, you are very dramatic. Though I think a better word is 'theatrical'."

"I should really get some puppets."

I laughed and pulled her hair into a ponytail.

She yelped an, "Ow!"

I paused, confused about the pain.

Then she said, "Good example, right? See what I did there?"

delirious

Caroline's home with a fever today, and she woke up 2 hours late and kind of... manic. An assortment of quotes:

"My pee! It's totally golden."

"What is it about MOVIES that makes them MOVE?! Move-ees. Movies."

"I didn't know bunnies could hoola hoop."

"OH, it's a beautiful carnation. DELICATE PETALS. Look at the little lines...."

"MOM! I have a GREAT IDEA! What if I play Littlest Pet Shop on my DS, and I hold my Littlest Pet Shop animals in my hands at the same time?! It'll be like it's REAAAALLL!"

misandry

Caroline's class had an assignment one day at centers. They were to take 5 stickers of their choice and make a 3-sentence story about them. She chose a smiley face and 4 stars, and made this:



The story she wrote:

My story was is, Stella was in space and she was in the universe. Meny of her men were looking for her stuff. She new that her men were lazy.

a fast learner

I'm very hoarse due to a cold picked up from volunteering in Caroline's plague-infected classroom. She informed me that I "sound like a dude."

Several hours later, I said something to her from the other room, and she replied all cleverly with, "Wait, which of my DADS said that?"

"The DAD who buys all your birthday presents."

"Noted. Let me try that again. [sugary sweet voice] 'Yes, Mom!'"

boogery melody

"Mom, did you know that snot is just, like, mucus and germs coming together? They're having a gross little party together. Making a little gross music."

earnestness and auditions

Caroline auditioned for the school musical. Yes, they do musicals in elementary school. She decided to audition, and I took her. And I was surprised by how seriously this process was organized. There was a dance room, a singing room, and then small group and solo singing room. Nevermind that everyone gets a part, they still do this like it's Broadway.

When it was her turn for the small group/solo singing audition, she and two of her classmates were brought into a small room with a long table with 3 unfamiliar grownups sitting behind it. They were asked to sing "Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star." Easy peasy. Then the director asked if any of them wanted to sing a song on their own. Her friend Nolan gave a great version of a Bob Marley song that he'd rehearsed with his older brother before auditions. Peter declined to sing a solo. Caroline said that she'd like to sing something, too. We hadn't rehearsed anything (again, I didn't think it would be this formal!). So she stepped forward and began singing a song she made up on the fly.

If you believe, you can do everything!
You just have to tryyyyyyyyy.
You just have to try
With all your heart, you just have to try
And you'll like it and it will be great!

And then she curtsied.

The director totally humored her and asked, "Oh did you write that song right now, as you were singing it?"

And she said, "Well, actually, I just kind of reworked something I wrote a while ago..."

fear the reaper

Yesterday was Chuck's birthday. As Caroline and I were discussing his age, she said, "Wow, 46. 50 is the age of death, you know."

long walks on the beach

Caroline got in the car yesterday and began giggling. Eventually, I asked her what was up. "Mom, I have to tell you something, and it is totally weird."

The totally weird news? She has her first boyfriend. She and Logan are girlfriend and boyfriend.

I asked her very casually what that meant to her, to be boyfriend and girlfriend, hoping to hear nothing of hand-holding or smooching on the playground. I was relieved to hear her take on it. "We are in kindergarten, Mom. We're not like kissing teenager boyfriend/girlfriend. We're good friends, is all. We're like mini-boyfriend/girlfriend."

And how did this all come to be? "Well, Logan kept asking me on the bus, so I said, 'Fine. Ok. I'm your girlfriend.'"

Then she asked me to refrain from telling her dad. I suggested that he might appreciate being in the loop. She agreed, but insisted, "You'll have to tell Daddy because I can't break this kind of news to him. Make him sit down first."

...

Later in the afternoon, we were discussing this a bit more, and I reminded her that she doesn't need to spend too much time worrying about boyfriends and girlfriends at her age -- that she she had a lot of more important stuff to think about right now.

She agreed. "Yeah, I do," she nodded. "Like kittens. And rainbows."