Monday, January 31, 2011

hasbro test market failures

"Isn't it kind of funny that there aren't any Little Ponies named Tom or Steve or Bob or somethin'?"

Sunday, January 30, 2011

like winning the lottery

My children were bonkers today. Towards the end of the day, as Caroline held onto the back pockets of my jeans, squealing like a wild animal of some sort, sliding around on the hardwood floors and effectively treating me like the motorboat which pulls the water skiier, I yelped, "Why are you so crazy?!"

She told me like it is. "Some daughters are like that!"

Thursday, January 27, 2011

the mommy secret is out

"Mama, I really think that when you say 'soon' and 'maybe,' you mean 'never' and 'no'. That is kind of a pretty big lie."

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

maybe we all need preschool

At school pickup, Caroline marched up to me confidently and greeted me with, "I changed my life today!"

Friday, January 21, 2011

neither stars nor chirping birds

Caroline drew this picture at preschool.

Mama: What's this one?

Caroline: It's you and Daddy.

Mama: Oh yeah. What are we doing?

Caroline: You're kissing!

Mama: And what are all those things around us?

Caroline: S'mores.

Monday, January 17, 2011

reverse toddlers and tiaras

She was creating lots of drawings of little girls. They all were wearing eye shadow.

I asked, "What? How old are these girls?"

She told me they were 4.5 like her.

"Why in the world are they wearing eye shadow?!"

"Mama, we all grow up sometime. You have to learn to let go."

Thursday, January 13, 2011


After a make-up ballet class yesterday, Caroline was super tired and suuuuper slappy.

She sat in her car seat and announced while giggling, "I am going to talk to things that are not alive. I will say nice things to them, so that they will want to talk back to me. But it will only be talking back in my mind."

Sure enough, we passed a Christmas display.

"Hey lil Christmas tree. What's up?" She giggled more. "You have some awesome lights, and your branches look terrific."

We parked to pick up a pizza for dinner.

"Hi there, brick wall. How's it going?" She barely could contain her laughter as she continued. "I really like your stairstep pattern. You look really strong and line-y. And I like the random painted brick. It's all very block-ish. It's a good look for you."

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

older and wiser

I was downstairs cleaning the kitchen and the girls were upstairs, confined behind the gate. Caroline was sitting at the desk, listening to the ipod with the speaker attached. Sylvie (18 months old) approached and apparently wanted to grab the ipod and/or the speaker. I heard the loud fussin' and growling that Sylvie tends to perform when she wants something but can't reach it or can't have it. After about 30 seconds of that, I heard a totally exasperated Caroline shout, "SYLVIE! RELAX YOURSELF! IT'S JUST MUSIC, CHILD!"

Monday, January 10, 2011

captain obvious

She walked into the room and plopped on the chair and began speaking while I stared and said nothing.

"I like to talk. A lot. I think I'm really good at talking because I am a very curious kid and I think a lot. I know a lot of words, too. So there is a lot for me to say... just because I have a lot of words and ideas in my head. I like them to come out of my brain so there is more room for more new thoughts. Like thoughts and words about mammals. Mammals are warm blooded. See? Now there is more room, just because I talked. Are you even listening to me?"

Friday, January 7, 2011

i can think of different adjectives

We had an unseasonably warm spell last week. All the icy snow of December (and there was plenty) had melted. You got too warm in your coat as you walked outside in the upper 40 degree temperatures. It felt like the beginning of Spring here in Michigan. It was a cruel joke to those of us who hate winter weather.

Today, we woke up to snow covering everything and big fluffy flakes coming down. As soon as we opened the door to leave for preschool, Caroline squealed in excitement. She ran down the steps of the porch and was spinning in the falling snow.

"MAMA! This is a serious winter wonderland!"

I grumbled my way to the car, and as I belted her into her car seat, she pumped her fists in glee as she watched the snow fall and busted out a, "This is so classic!"

Thursday, January 6, 2011

keep reaching for the stars

"I wish that I was a bird or an iguana."


"Because then I could eat some fruit with seeds in it, and when I pooped, a plant would grow from it."

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

your average daily car conversation

Caroline: Mama, do we have meat? I mean in our bodies.

Mama: Well, if someone was to cook you and eat you, your muscles would be meat.

Caroline: My muscles are meat?

Mama: In theory.

Caroline: Hm. Why don't people eat people meat like they eat animal meat?

Mama: It's frowned upon. And also, I bet you'd be gamey.

Caroline: I'M NOT GAMEY. Unless that's good.

Mama: No, it's just a really strong flavor. Like animals caught in the wild -- small birds, rabbits, even squirrel. They taste very particular. It's called gamey.

Caroline: Oh.

[silence for about 30 seconds]

Caroline: Why do we have bones?

Mama: Well your skeleton is sort of like your own frame. It supports you and allows you to move. If you had no bones, you would just be a puddle of flesh on the floor. Like when you take off your clothes, they have no frame or support and they are just a pile on the floor.

Caroline: Puddle of skin and muscle? Awesome!

Mama: Yes, who's hungry?

Caroline: I wish I had a zipper on my back so you could take out my bones and I could be like a dirty shirt.

Monday, January 3, 2011

not self-absorbed (for the moment)

Driving home from ballet class, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio.

I said, "Hey! Your song is on!"

She asked me to turn it off. I asked why.

"Mama, it's not nice to talk about yourself too much. And I don't want to like it anymore. That song is just too... me-ish."

Sunday, January 2, 2011

random snippets from today

"I think I'm going to rename Hershey Kisses to Arsey Kisses."

No, she does not know what "arse" means, or obviously that name would likely lose its luster. Or maybe not. She is 4, after all.


Out of the blue. "Do chameleons communicate?"


"I love you because you're always warm."


After arguing with her father about how many ponies need to be in the bathtub with her, she sighed. "Dadddddddy." Then, under her breath, "Mans, mans, mans. So complicated."

Saturday, January 1, 2011

it seems like only yesterday you were a 4 year old. because you were.

Out of the blue conversation while drawing this morning:

Caroline: Mom, Nick Jr. is basically for babies.

Mama: Uh, it's meant for preschoolers, right? They even have that silly slogan, "Like preschool on TV."

Caroline: Oh Mama. [shakes head] Don't you think Kai Lan is a little too... immature for an almost 5 year old?