mmmm delicious

"I made a new invention. After I broke up with my fireman job, I became an inventor. My invention is -- are you ready for this? Grilled cheese flavored gum."

as if people didn't wonder enough

Her favorite stuffed companion, a small doberman pup named Nesty, often takes on different roles as she plays.

Today, she brought him downstairs and introduced him with a new name.

"I am Maggie, and this is my dog."

Oh yeah? What's his name?

"Scotch."

....

Hot Couple the cat and Scotch the dog, now appearing in prime time.

Honest, we are not boozers -- she just abbreviated one of Nesty's favorite alter egos, a girl dog named Butterscotch. Or at least I hope that's the case.

halloween is getting to her

Caroline walked downstairs and asked, out of the blue, "Mama, is it true that people turn into skeletons after they're dead?"

I confirmed that it takes a long time, but yes eventually all that is left of any formerly living creature is bones.

"So when you get really, really old and then you die, you turn into a skeleton."

I tried to figure out how to best address this without going into more detail about cremation or embalming, when she interrupted.

"And then you get spooOOOOOOooooOOOoky!"

i'm not quite crafty enough to qualify

While we were eating lunch, we had the following exchange.

"Hey Mom, do you know Martha Stewart?"

"Well, I know who she is, yes."

"Are you friends with her? She seems like your kind of lady."

diptych

Upstairs, I was painting Caroline's nails. We looked out the window and saw Uncle Tom (Chuck's friend) approaching the house for his regular football-watching visit. He had no one with him.

Caroline said, "Uncle Tom is here! But Amy isn't with him. He didn't bring any girl."

I told her, "No, she's not with him. Remember that they broke up a while ago?"

Caroline remembered, "Yeah, sometimes grownups do that."

"When you go downstairs, don't bring it up, ok? He might be a little sensitive about it."

...

Downstairs, the guys watched football. Caroline joined them.

"Hi Uncle Tom, " she greeted.

"Hi Caroline."

"My mama says you don't have a girlfriend anymore."

raising her right

Caroline: Hi. I'm not your daughter. I'm another girl. I'm a girl in a band. It's actually all girls, and we're a cover band. Yeah, it's pretty great.

Mama: Oh yeah? Who do you cover?

Caroline: We only play Bowie.

gross and horrible is a job well done

We told her she had to pick up her own (huge) mess, an idea she found disgusting.

"You guys have gross minds. I don't think you're harmless, parents."

gold medal dessert

We try to make dance class night a special one-on-one time for Caroline and I. Trying to cement my status as best.mama.ever, I usually get her a tasty treat. Tonight she got a soft serve sundae with banana slices and a cherry on top, her request.

As we carried the sundae away, the cherry began sliding down the peak of vanilla ice cream.

"Aw, look Mom. The cute little cherry is skiing."

poltergeist

I was brushing her teeth, and she turned and looked out the hall and gasped. Then she said "sthombie" because she had the toothbrush in her mouth.

I took it out and asked, "What?"

"A zombie!" She pointed out the door.

I told her zombies are imaginary and not real.

"Well it's right behind you now, so it's a good thing you believe they're pretend."

*gleam*

Yesterday was her first dentist visit, and it went super well. Zero cavities, and Miss Jane polished her teeth until they gleamed. She told Caroline with a believable gasp, "I just realized. Your teeth look like princess teeth now!"

Caroline enjoyed this news greatly, and this morning she insisted on wearing a fancy dress suitable for a princess. Once I got her all dressed and ready for school, she ran through the hall and said, "This dress! These teeth! Aaaagh, it's just ridiculously fun!"